>I’m so frustrated today.

My job has been up in the air for a few months, which is draining. There’s restructuring going on, and it’s been hard. I put a lot on the line when I took this position, and it’s been hard to stay positive. There aren’t any similar jobs open right now, so i have to continue to stick it out…at least for now. There could be some good things on the horizon, but they aren’t here today.

This week has been especially bad. On top of the overall instability, it’s just been a bad week of feeling forgotten and undervalued.

M would love to leave his job. If I said I wanted to go, we would probably do it. The problem is that we own our home, and it’s a terrible time to sell. The other problem is that it’s difficult for us to both get jobs in the same geographic area. There are no openings in the area for me where he would like to work right now. I’m sure there would be at some point, but not right now.

So there’s the house problem – and the job problem – which combined, has the potential for making us extremely poor.

On top of all that, we currently live in a state with fantastic coverage for infertility testing and treatment. This other state has no coverage at all.

I know it’s oversimplifying things, but I feel like if I could just get pregnant (and have a child), we’d have some clarity. We would know what’s ahead and could make decisions. We would still have to deal with the job/house situation, but at least we wouldn’t have to worry about the cost of testing and treatment if (and that’s a big if) we moved. Ideally, I would get pregnant, have a child, and stay at my job until they let me go (and/or take maternity leave). I know it doesn’t take away the whole job/house situation with moving, but the whole ttc aspect just adds a layer of uncertainty and frustration that I could do without right now.

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