>Surprisingly, I already got a high on the fertility monitor. I wasn’t expecting that for a few more days, so it was a pleasant surprise (It’s only CD 10, and I usually ovulate late). Luckily, my nether-regions seem to be going back to normal – just in time!

M and I talked a lot about our situation last night. Between stuff at work and ttc, I was not in the best of moods. It takes a lot for me to get into a foul mood, but I think I had just had enough. We definitely don’t know what we want to do, in terms of treatment. M leans more toward leaving things the way they are and is hopeful that something good will eventually happen (and if it doesn’t, that’s ok). I feel the same way sometimes, but then there’s a nagging part of me that wonders if we would be passing up an opportunity – and our only chance. I don’t feel ready to jump into anything major, but at the same time, I don’t like having things up in the air. Since I’m already ovulating, I don’t know if there’s much of a point to trying something like Clomid, but on the other hand, it can’t really hurt, either. Part of me wishes we could just jump to IVF, since it’s covered by insurance and would give us the best chance of success. On the other hand, though, I don’t even know if it’s what we both want, even if jumping right into that were an option. We’re just really conflicted. So, I think that for now, we’re going to leave things the way they are. I have a doctor’s appointment (just with my ob/gyn) in July, and I’m going to ask their opinion and see what kinds of things they suggest. I know a lot of people in my shoes would be headed to an RE, but I’m not ready. I went down that road before, and I know what it’s like. M isn’t ready for it, either. So, we’ll see. I might opt for waiting a few more months to do anything at all, but I’ll see what they say.

We’re also still thinking about relocating. Even though there are a lot of things that make sense about staying here, we have to do what feels right and makes us happy. We don’t want the possibility of future fertility treatment to dictate what we’re doing now – we need to live our lives and be happy.

So, I think things are headed in a good direction. Even if nothing changes, I feel better.

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