>I debated about going to buy more test sticks for the fertility monitor yesterday, but I finally pay the $50 and bought them. I can’t believe I didn’t bring enough, but I didn’t. I finally got the peak this morning, so I was apparently just short two sticks! I was glad I bought them, though, since I have the peak reading now. I’ll either ovulate tomorrow or Friday, and since M. won’t be here until Friday, our chances are slim. But, better late than never, I suppose!

I told my mom about our ttc efforts. M. and I agreed ahead of time that we would, and I was glad I did. It’s kind of a relief, really. It’s awkward to explain, because at first she was super happy, but then I had to add that it’s already been close to a year. So it ends up like a good news/bad news kind of thing. I think my mom felt bad that I was in this situation again, and she dealt with it pretty well. When my ex-husband and I were dealing with infertility, she was always supportive, but something was always missing. For one thing, she didn’t like my ex-husband, but I think the other difference is that she didn’t realize how much she would enjoy being a grandparent. My brother and his wife have a two-year-old, so I think she’s extra excited about the idea of M. and I having a child. It also makes the fact that it isn’t happening more upsetting, I think. So, she told my dad, and then my brother…so before long, it will be extended-family wide knowledge. It’s fine, though…it’s nothing to be ashamed of, and M. is pretty public about it with most people. I was pretty open about it when I saw a bunch of friends over the weekend, too, so we’ve gone from no one knowing to pretty much everyone in a matter of days.

At first, I liked it that people didn’t know, but now I’m glad they do. It was sort of like I had a secret, or something I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s sort of liberating to talk about it. I would assume we are out of luck this month, but maybe I’ll have good news (instead of good news/bad news) to share sometime soon.

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