>Things are – of course – still up in the air, as I’m sure they will be for a while. We worked on cover letters and websites all weekend, and I am happy we made some progress. Now we are teetering on the edge of ‘is it ready to submit’ or ‘do I review it for the billionth time,’ but I’m sure things will be wrapping up here soon. My positions have deadlines, which is helpful. M’s don’t, which is awkward and sort of anxiety-causing. I have two cover letters to finish this week (yikes!), on top of the one I finished yesterday but have not sent. I have two more to do after that, but one is already written and just needs to be revised. M is applying one job at a time, which makes more sense for his field.

It’s all scary, but exciting. It’s amazing how when faced with a problem, your fears evolve. We’ve gone through a few stages, but my newest fear is that M will get an offer and I won’t, or the other way around. In all honesty, my biggest fear is that I’ll get an offer and M won’t. I have been rejected hundreds – if not thousands – of times in my life. I know I can take it. I worry that M can’t, though. What would really make me happiest is if we both got offers, especially within the same day. 🙂

I found my suit in the closet and was so happy that it fit. I am taking it as a good sign!

It’s amazing how having your entire life turned upside down and being faced with uncertainty really puts ttc on the back burner. We’re still giving it a try, though. I got the high reading on the monitor yesterday and today, so I should get the peak sometime soon. I do wonder, in the back of my mind, how being pregnant would affect our plans, but it just seems so unlikely. I’m pretty sure that September or October marks one month of ttc, so have a pretty good idea what we’re facing (especially because I’ve been through this before). It could still happen, but I can honestly say we are not expecting it to. We say ‘if we have children,’ but at the same time, we aren’t really planning for it. Like everything else, it’s up in the air.

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