>I have been in such a funk lately, but somehow, I kind of broke out of it yesterday afternoon. Even though we don’t know what’s going to happen in the future – or even the near future – I am really determined to appreciate what I have right now. It’s hard, but I can’t spend the majority of my time wondering what will happen.

I was hoping to call the doctor today, but since it’s raining and everyone is staying in for lunch, my chances of calling today are slim. I know I can do it tomorrow, though, because I have to travel for work. I can always call before I get out of the car…ultimate privacy!

I am really dying to get a way for a few days. I know this isn’t true, but sometimes I just feel like there are pregnant people and babies all around me. At work this morning (right outside my non-private office), there was a whole conversation between my coworker whose wife is expecting and HR…about FMLA and parental leave. As if that wasn’t bad enough, they also had to talk about another colleague who is also due around the same time, in addition to another person we know who had a baby last week. Then, later on, there was some planning for the baby shower for my coworker, so I suppose I can start looking forward to that.

I wish I could be more like M sometimes…people say things to him about us having children, and he pretty bluntly says that we’ve been trying for a year and it hasn’t happened. I try to do that, but I just freeze. I just can’t make the words come out of my mouth.

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