>Wow…I have been such a slacker! Things are continuing to evolve here, as always. I’ve got nothing new to report from infertility-land, but that seems to be the mode we’re in right now. We’re still not sure what we want to do, my insurance has still not agreed to cover anything yet, and even if it was, it wouldn’t matter because I have a totally insane work schedule right now. When I got this job, I was told that I would have to travel for one night, every other month. That was false, actually – looking back, I have traveled every month, and sometimes twice a month. I have even more travel coming up, and I think the unpredictability of all this travel makes infertility treatment pretty much impossible at the moment.

I still think about having a child, but I honestly don’t know what we’re going to do about it.

I do know that I am tired of having my life on hold, while I wait for something to happen. So, we are moving forward to potentially make some changes – changes that we wanted to make six months ago. Infertility was one of the things that held us back…we imagined that by now, we’d have tried multiple medications, IUI, etc., and probably even started to move on to IVF. Instead, we have made no progress (aside from the two Clomid/IUI cycles, which we did ages ago), and while it seemed worth it to stop our searches for new jobs at the time, it somehow doesn’t now. So, we’re moving forward! A big move may be in our future – but only time will tell. We’re excited, and it feels good to have something to look forward to! It may be months from now (the job application process in my field takes AGES), but that’s o.k.

One thing that has been on my mind is the View. I’m honestly surprised to read that some people had a positive reaction to it, because I couldn’t even watch the whole thing. They tried to be sensitive, but I didn’t feel like they provided any real information – except that it’s hard to get pregnant when you’re “old” (they actually said a lot about Giuliana’s lack of weight gain, but that’s a whole different topic).

I am bothered by the whole “old eggs” diagnosis in the infertility field. I realize it may be true – and I’m potentially bothered by it because I am in the age group that has “old” eggs – but to me, it feels like an excuse. Sometimes, it seems like doctors use “old eggs” or age as the reason for infertility when they can’t find anything else. Maybe it really is the reason, but it doesn’t feel like an official diagnosis to me. Why is it a problem for me, but not any of my friends? I guess it bothers me because it’s not concrete enough. If someone said to me, ‘Your problem is that your eggs are old. This is how we know…and because of that, you have x% of any of this working,’ I feel like I could make a decision about what to do next. But ‘we’re not sure’ and ‘maybe it’s age’ make it awfully hard to know what our chances really are.

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