>I haven’t been posting much because we’re pretty much in a holding pattern. I know that our situation is temporary, but it feels like we’re in slow motion, waiting to get to the finish line.

M. is still hard at work on the test that’s part of the process to possibly get his new job. In my field, we have to do presentations at the time of the interview. In his, he has to create something similar to what he would make at work. While the two processes are similar, mine might take anywhere from a few hours to a week to prepare. His takes about three weeks! Needless to say, it has been a rough couple of weeks. I am so proud of him for sticking with it, and essentially devoting every minute of his free time to it. I am crossing everything possible, in hopes that he gets the job. It would just be so fantastic for him! I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something so much for someone else.

With a lot hinging on M’s job situation, everything else is at a bit of a standstill. I got another response from a job I applied for, which was exciting, but is again, in the wrong geographic area. It takes about two months to get a response from job applications in my field, and a lot has changed since February. It’s hard to turn down interviews, when our future is so up in the air.

In more news of uncertainty, I checked my prescription company’s website today, and they are STILL not showing that they’ll cover my fertility medication. It’s crazy….this is a state with mandated fertility coverage, and I first tried to get prescription coverage for follistim in January. It’s now almost May! I don’t know if I would jump back into treatment again even if it was covered right now, but the principle of the whole thing makes me angry.

I really don’t know where I stand on ttc and infertility right now. It’s more uncertainty than I can handle at the moment, but I really can’t even decide how I feel about it. There’s a part of me that really hopes that things with M’s job work out, because it’s an opportunity we probably wouldn’t consider if we had an infant or if I were pregnant. It feels like it would be some kind of consolation prize…maybe we can’t have children, but we get to do this other thing instead. Maybe, in the end, the consolation prize would be ok, or even great. Maybe we would forget that we even wanted something else, or at least wouldn’t miss it.

Please keep your fingers crossed for M! We could use some good news!