>We found out today that one of our few childless freinds/couples that is our age are having a baby. We never see them – and they are really M’s friends – but it’s still hard. I’m glad that it worked out for them, and I’m sure they’ll be great parents, but it’s hard not to feel left out.

One of my best friends – who I have known since 2nd grade, and who was my roomate in college – does not have children. She’s married to a great guy that my ex-husband and I introduced her to. They don’t think they want children, which is sort of ironic, because they both work with kids. We live in different states and only see them a few times a year, and I told them last year that we had been ttc. She was kind of upset, which at the time, I found a little odd (she knew about my ttc efforts in my previous marriage, so I found it even more strange). I sort of understand where she was coming from, though. She has a vision where we’re old, and childless, but together. We look out for each other because we don’t have children, can relate to one another, and won’t let the other person become isolated and lonely. I said we could still do that if I had a child, but she said it’s not the same. And in a way, she’s right. Even though she doesn’t want children, we’re still in the same boat. We both have awkward answers to questions about whether or not we have children, and people with children tend to avoid us. We have less to talk about with our friends that we used to, because their focus has shifted. But we still have each other.

We’re meeting this couple for a long weekend away this summer, and I am so looking forward to it! After hearing about the one other couple we know, though, I’m starting to have the same fear she expressed last summer. What is they change their minds, and we’re left alone?

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