>A lot has been going on lately, but the best use of my time has been getting ready for vacation! We’re leaving this weekend for a trip to see my in-laws on the west coast. It should be fun, and I am overjoyed that I don’t have to work for an entire week!

They still don’t know we’ve been ttc, even though it’s something we’ve planned to mention the last two times we saw them. M is an only child, so we are their only shot at grandchildren. I wanted to tell them ages ago, and telling them now is awkward. M never wanted children in his first marriage, so we’re not sure if they are just respecting our wishes, or if they are just aware that the issue is often complex. One of M’s cousins is unable to have children, and apparently, his parents wanted more than one child. So, I’m not sure if they are sensitive to issues related to infertility, or if they believe we don’t want children and are being sensitive to that. In some ways, it doesn’t matter, because the impact on them is the same. At the same time, though, I feel like they should know. My family knows (and pretty much my entire extended family), and while they never bring it up (I have an aunt and uncle who also cannot have children, so maybe that helps), I’m glad they know. I can’t really put into words why I feel this way, but I do.

So, maybe we’ll end up telling them. It’s just not the easiest thing to bring up, especially when things are looking bleak. We’ll almost have to say ‘The good news is we decided to try to have children. The bad news is that after almost two years, I’m still not pregnant. We just wanted you to know, but don’t get your hopes up.’

It will be a fun trip, though, regardless of whether or not we tell them.

I’m also trying to plan a trip later in the summer with my friends from college. One of them declined, because she has a 6-month old baby. I don’t blame her, but I did find it difficult to respond to her email. She said that it was just too hard for her to leave him (it would be an overnight weekend trip – not just dinner or anything), and said how she loves every minute of being a mom. It was hard to wrote back, really. I said that I understood, but I don’t really. I can only imagine.

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