>I have been really neglectful of my blog! While I was packing, moving, and unpacking, I just didn’t make the time to write – although I did often think of things I wanted to say. Of course, all the ideas I had have now vanished into thin air, but I thought I would post an update, anyway.

We have successfully moved, and all our boxes are unpacked! Hooray! I am really not looking forward to moving again, although at the moment I am also obsessed with local real estate. At least that move – which is at least a year away or more – will be local.

Everything went pretty well with the move, and we’ve been enjoying our new surroundings. We know two other couples here, and both are without children, which makes things easy. Unfortunately, I think one of them has been dealing with infertility for a long time (I remember they were ttc when I was seeing an RE with my ex-husband, and that was five years ago, or more), which makes me sad for them. The other couple isn’t married, and I don’t think they have any plans for children anytime soon.

I always feel strange this time of year because of our childlessness. Holidays are so focused on children, and I find it hard to escape. Even my family seems to find it necessary to repeat over and over how important it is that my parents are with my brother for the holidays, since he has the “only grandchild,” and that they wouldn’t want to miss a holiday while he’s young. I get it, but I do wish they would stop referring to my nephew as the “only grandchild.” I know they don’t say it to be cruel, but all I can think when I hear it is that he isn’t SUPPOSED to be the only grandchild. I found the “What to Expect When you’re Expecting” book that my SIL gave me – I guess two years ago – when we were packing (and then when we were unpacking). At the time, I tried to tell her then that it probably wasn’t necessary to give me the book, but since she already had a child (the “only grandchild”), she said she didn’t need it any longer – so there was no harm in me taking it. That book seems to multiply and reappear all over our apartment, no matter how many times I try to stash it away in one of my bottom dresser drawers. I should get rid of it, but I have this fear that she’s going to ask for it back – to give to one of her fertile friends who isn’t sure what to expect – now that she’s expecting.

My brother has a lot of problems in his life, and I’m glad he and his wife didn’t have to deal with infertility. I think it would have broken them, and I don’t know how they would have come back from it. Sometimes, though, it would be nice to just have some acknowledgment – some compassion or understanding – that this isn’t an easy time of year for people who are unable to have children…that while it might be important to spend time with the “only grandchild,” those statements are reminders of what we don’t have.

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