My first post on my new wordpress blog! How exciting!

I’ve been thinking a lot about Mel/Stirrup Queen’s post about infertility, and about the comments, too. I’m not horribly open about being infertile. It’s not a secret, but I don’t like to spend much time talking about it, especially with people I don’t know well. Even if I am talking to someone I’m close with, I still don’t really like talking about it, because the reaction is never appropriate or what I want it to be. On top of that, though, there’s nothing anyone can say that will make me feel differently about it. Most of my friends either had children easily or don’t want them, and I don’t think that hearing about my difficulties will change a thing. I don’t think I’m pessimistic – but I think it’s hard to be truly empathetic when you’re lacking a personal experience to compare it to.

I’m not ashamed of being infertile – at all. It’s not that I’m embarrassed, either,  and a lot of times I wonder if I would be any different if I did have a serious illness that required intensive treatment, like cancer. Even if the reaction I got from other people was appropriate, I think I would still avoid it. I don’t really know why.

I found out today that an old of friend of mine that I haven’t seen for years and years has a brain tumor. I’m stunned, and I don’t know what to say. She hasn’t told her friends…her husband sent an email to let everyone know (which is sort of weird – or nice – kind of hard to say), and I’ve been thinking about it all day. I was also already thinking about that post, and how much we share with other people. I have no idea what it would be like to be in her shoes – headed in for surgery next week – but I’m hopeful that she’ll be ok.

And I feel lucky, really. Infertility sucks, but I am lucky to be healthy, and I don’t even want to take all the good things in my life for granted.

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