We ran some errands over the weekend, and one of our stops included Target. It was sort of crowded, and I wouldn’t help but notice there were people with babies EVERYWHERE. It’s like they were giving things away for people who brought their babies into the store…crazy! I can handle one or two babies, but it was so many that I couldn’t help but feel like I was the only person in the store who couldn’t have a child.

I’m not all that happy with my bbt chart at the moment. I had a really high temp. on Saturday, but we stayed up super late on Friday night, and I’m sure that affected it. It was lower on Sunday, and so low today. I know my acupuncturist is going to think I’m having an implantation dip, but seriously…I find it hard to believe it’s happening EVERY month. I think it’s just what my body does, but really, I wish it wouldn’t. It makes my chart look so erratic, and then I start wondering if anything I’m doing is working.

I know I said I was going to make an appointment with that dr. this week, but I’m back to feeling unsure. I want to know what’s preventing me from getting pregnant, but I just don’t feel optimistic that he’ll really find anything. Or, that he’ll find something, and we’ll all assume that was the problem, but nothing will change. I was really hopeful when I started acupuncture, and I still am (sort of), but it’s hard. My birthday is three months from now, and I’ll be 37. I just don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.

Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.

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