I’m soo happy today is Friday. I had planned to make a dr’s appointment today, but I decided to put it off until next week. I know I need to – and I keep writing about it – but I just can’t quite bring myself to make the call. I don’t know why I’m so hesitant, really. 😦

My temps are up now, which makes me happy. I have such a love-hate relationship with the bbt chart! I love seeing what’s going on, but not when I think it doesn’t look right! 🙂

I’ve been getting tired of thinking about ttc and infertility lately. Maybe that’s where my hesitation to call the dr. comes from. I get tired from all the hoping, thinking, researching, staying positive…sometimes I just don’t want to think about it at all. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the mindset before we ever started to ttc – ignorance is bliss, really! It’s been a part of my life for so long (if you count both marriages), and sometimes it just feels like a weight that I’ve been carrying around for a long time. When we aren’t really trying, it’s like a light weight, but each thing we do to improve our chances makes the weight grow heavier. Getting acupuncture made it a little heavier, and adding herbs that I have to remember to take twice a day did, too. The addition of the opk’s made the weight grow, and using progesterone cream each night after ovulating is another reminder – adding to the weight. Going to a new dr. will make it undeniably heavy – and I won’t be able to ignore it.

I know a lot of people do SO much more than we do, but sometimes I’m just ready to put it all behind me.