Thanks for the kind comments…especially after my long hiatus from blogging!

Not much has changed here…we’re (or more accurately, I am) still doing a lot of reading and researching about adoption. I’m reading Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families, and I think it’s helping me sort through some of my fears and questions I have about adoption. There are some parts that don’t really resonate with me, but I’ve found other sections helpful. I thought I would identify more with the first part, which talks about infertility, but I felt like it was geared more toward people who are deciding between pursuing additional fertility treatment and adoption. I felt like it was just written with a different type of reader in mind. The sections on entitlement and attachment were great, though, and made me feel more reassured that we could actually do this. I have mixed feelings about some other sections of the book that deal with interracial adoption…we had been leaning toward international (and interracial) adoption, and there were things about interracial adoption in the book that just left me feeling uncomfortable. On one hand, it did bring up issues that I know we have to consider (and are well aware of), but on the other, I think I may just not agree with some of it. I worry, though – am I just being defensive? The author says at one point that a parent who adopts a child of another race should be prepared to move in order to find a neighborhood in which the child will feel most comfortable (in other words, we should be ready to sell our house and move to a neighborhood that is not predominately white…even if that means relocating to another state). That just seems extreme to me! Maybe I am being naive? Overall, I did find the book helpful, and I marked some pages for M to read. It’s a lot more psychoanalytical than I expected, but parts are worthwhile. I’ll post about the next book when it arrives.

I am still feeling pretty good about the whole thing and am still hopeful that we’ll move forward. I am trying to temper my desire to just get started already with the knowledge that we can’t rush these decisions – easier said than done. I’m also resisting the urge to talk about it ALL the time, even though it is on my mind a lot. M is still lagging behind a little bit, and I don’t want to pressure him. He hasn’t become LESS interested since we first talked about it, which I think is a good sign. I feel a mix of excitement and nervousness about it – it’s so exciting and so scary all at the same time!