My appointment with the new RE is a week and a half away, and I have a super busy week and weekend leading up to it, which is good because I won’t really be thinking too much about it. It’s just a consultation, so I really shouldn’t think too much about it – it’s not like they’re going to just look at me and say that moving forward with some kind of treatment would be a bad idea. My guess is that they’ll propose some kind of plan for testing, and then we’ll either go back to discuss our options or have a plan to just move forward with some kind of treatment if the tests all come back ok. I guess that part depends on how aggressive they are. I’m assuming they’ll propose some kind of IUI/injectable cycle, since I’ve already tried Clomid. And, I think we’ll probably do it. 

I do have some hesitation about the timing, though. I’m hoping to run a 10 mile race in April, and I don’t think I’ll be able to do that if I’m on all kinds of fertility medication. It would be nice to start treatment after that, but I don’t know if it’s realistic to wait that long. On one hand, I feel like I shouldn’t delay treatment, but on the other, I hate giving up something that will make me feel good and strong for fertility treatment – which, if it doesn’t work, will make me feel the opposite of that. And I think this is the dilemma I end up in when it comes to fertility treatment – I want to try it (again), but I hate the idea of giving anything up and sacrificing my quality of life for something that may not work. I know I need to get over it – because I could run the race next year or the year after that – but it’s the idea of putting myself out there and making myself more vulnerable that scares me. Doing that, and then ending up with nothing to show for it – is harder than doing nothing at all. 

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