I had my HSG today. This is the second one I’ve had in my life, but the first one I’ve had with my current husband and also the first one I’ve had in about 10 years. It went fine…my left tube was slow to fill, but the person who did the test didn’t think it was completely blocked. It’s strange that everything seems to work less than ideally on my left side…the side with the funky Fallopian tube is also the side with the cyst or endometrioma covering my ovary. So far, thing aren’t exactly perfect but aren’t looking too horrible, either. My bigger concerns have been my uterus, which – fingers crossed, has looked ok so far – and my FSH. I got my CD3 bloodwork last week and am haven’t heard how that looked yet.

For the first time since I started ttc with my current husband 3.5 years ago, I feel like we’re going to have a good picture of what’s going on and what our options are. I don’t expect that things will be crystal clear or black and white, but at least we’re getting more information, which will hopefully help us make some decisions. We’ve been so hesitant to go down this road in the past because, honestly, we just weren’t ready. For whatever reason, it just feels right to me now, and I think it would have been harder for me to deal with if we had started this process before we were were really ready. We tried Clomid with my old ob/gyn, but we were sort of wishy washy about it, and I don’t think we were ready to start the process with any kind of perseverance or determination. Part of that, for me, was that I didn’t feel that my dr. was being thorough enough, and the area we lived in then had limited options for ob/gyn’s and REs. Even if we had access to more specialists, though, I think I would have still felt a little hesitant, and I don’t think M was really ready. I worried about the affect of treatment on our marriage, and I didn’t want M to feel pressured at all. Now, though, I really feel like we are on the same page, and while I sincerely hope we’re able to have a baby at the end of this, I know we’ll be ok if we don’t.

I’m anxious to know what our results are, and what the RE thinks our next step should be, but I feel good – slightly optimistic, and surprisingly calm…for now, anyway!