Thanks for the comments on my last post. Time is running out, and I am still undecided. I know my parents would want to know I’m having surgery, but at the same time, the situation with my dad’s health has just worn them out. I know I probably didn’t paint my mom in the best light, and it’s not at all that she’s a bad person. It’s just that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and her coping skills are at an all time low right now. She couldn’t sleep at night recently because of a situation that’s happening with one of her siblings that has her concerned, which to me, is a bit extreme. If I told her I was having surgery, I feel like it would just push her over the edge. She wouldn’t want me to keep it from her, but I don’t think it will help for her to know, either. So, it’s a dilemma. Right now, I am leaning toward not telling – partially because I am running out of time and have a billion other things going on right now. And, when I hear her voice, I just don’t want to add to the stress she’s experiencing. My dad having cancer has really shaken my whole family and affected the way we relate to each other – good and bad.

In other news, I am starting to freak out about surgery and whether it’s even a good idea. I mean, I know I have the endometrioma, and it’s not a good idea to just leave it, but people do. I keep thinking that I have to go to my ob/gyn in May to check my cervix (from having abnormal cells), and if they’re back, then the whole surgery is pointless, because I’ll have to shift gears and focus on that again. I keep wondering how the heck I’ll be able to tolerate IVF meds, when I am already queasy from the bcp’s I had to start last night in preparation for my lap. I’m wondering if maybe I should just let it go, so I don’t have to have surgery?

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