Now that I am well on my way to a full recovery after surgery, I’m thinking about the future….considering the multiple ways this whole trying to have a baby thing can play out. A lot depends on my post-op appointment with my doctor next week, but I am assuming that will be fine. Because of the endometrioma, she assumed I had at least stage 3 endo going into the surgery, which is exactly what I had. I’m guessing she’ll suggest we move ahead with IVF, unless she found something shocking during the lap – and I would hope she would have mentioned it to my husband after surgery, if that were the case. So, I’m going to just assume we’re still on the IVF-track.

One other area of concern is my insurance. I have infertility coverage (which I am so incredibly thankful for), but they’ll have to approve IVF before we can move forward. With my diagnosis of endo, high FSH, and low AMH, I’m hoping it won’t be a problem, but you never know. Luckily, my RE’s practice has a great billing and insurance person who will hopefully get that all worked out. I know I need to be prepared, though, for a possible delay.

So, let’s say I get the insurance approval and my doctor also gives us the go-ahead – then it’s IVF time.

Of course, I’d be thrilled if it worked the first time. But if it doesn’t, I feel like we need to have some idea of what we’ll do next. What we’re thinking is that we’ll try it once, and a second try would depend on a few things – whether the RE will even let us try again with my own eggs; how we dealt with the first cycle; and whether it seems like it’s worth trying it again. M was initially saying he wanted to only try it once, but I don’t want that pressure going into an IVF cycle. Plus, if I feel up to it, then why not?

We agreed that we’ll know when we’ve had enough. We don’t want to try donor eggs (more on that later), so there is a finite number of times we can try IVF with my own eggs. I think the insurance limit might be four, but I don’t know if the RE’s practice would even let me try it that may times if my eggs aren’t cooperating. We just won’t know until we try.

If IVF doesn’t work, then we aren’t entirely sure what we’ll do. I assumed that would be the end of things, but M brought up adoption again, which surprised me. I’m not opposed to it, but the financial aspect still concerns me. If we do look into adoption again, we agreed that this time (after our initial round of research), we would look into domestic. International felt like a good fit initially, but it’s gotten pretty complicated.

So, that’s our loose plan for how we’ll move forward. It feels good to have a plan and to (hopefully) be making some kind of progress, but it’s still hard to balance hope, optimism, reality, and the need to protect my heart.