I hate having my period. Even though it’s better than it was before surgery, cramps woke me up at 4 am last night and made it impossible for me to go back to sleep with any kind of consistency until, of course, 7 am when it was time to get up. They’ve been fine ever since, but I’m tired and fatigued. I don’t know why that happens in the middle of the night. I had a few drinks with dinner, and sometimes I wonder if drinking makes my cramps worse. It’s hard to say. I’m definitely not up for going for a run today.

When I was visiting my very pregnant friend recently (the one who got pregnant easily), we talked about labor. She and her husband had attended some kind of a birth class, and I got the impression it was a fairly natural/alternative-leaning class. They were saying that they would rather give birth at home, but that it’s too expensive. She said something like, ‘thousands of women do this [give birth] every day, and always have.’ She was saying that basically all the medical intervention that’s available isn’t necessary, because giving birth is so common. Thousands of women – giving birth – every day!

That’s so not my reality. In my reality, getting pregnant isn’t easy. It takes time, and money, and determination, and coordination, and science…and even then, it may not result in a pregnancy, much less a baby. If I ever do get lucky enough to get pregnant and actually deliver a baby, it won’t be a commonplace, everyday event. I’ll have been waiting for that baby for almost five years. In her world, I’d have a child in kindergarten, but in mine, I’m still waiting. It doesn’t matter if thousands of women give birth every day, because in my world, no one gets pregnant easily. It’s as foreign to me as living in another part of the world.