I started spotting today, so AF will most likely arrive later today or tomorrow. I’m glad I didn’t have another 23 day cycle, and I am amazed how great my run was yesterday. Usually, my last run before AF arrives is horrible. I usually get horrible cramps and feel just generally terrible, but my run yesterday was one of the best I’ve had in a while! I’m hoping it’s a benefit of the lap, and if it’s not, it’s still fantastic.

There was a small shred of hope that I’d be able to start IVF this cycle, but I wasn’t counting on it. It’s good that I wasn’t, because looking at the calendar, there’s no way I can make it work. I have to take a work trip in mid-September, and I don’t think it’s going to mesh well with the IVF schedule. It’s ok, though, because starting IVF in September is what I was counting on, anyway. I’ll still have to take that work trip, but I should be on bcp’s then.

I feel sort of relieved, because even if my next cycle starts early, I’ll still be on bcp’s for that work trip. I really didn’t want to have to bring needles and medication with me!

So, assuming AF starts tonight, the countdown will be on! 27 days from now, I’ll be calling the nurse to get everything ordered, and 5 days from then, I’ll be starting 2 weeks of bcp’s. I’ll be starting injections in a little over a month! I’m scared, but excited, too!

I waver a lot about how much I want to share with people about my upcoming IVF cycle. On one hand, I want to be open. I feel closed off from people, because I have this thing that I’m not sharing. I had an email exchange with some old friends today, and it felt weird not to tell them. At the same time, though, I rarely hear from them, and we just aren’t as close as we once were. I feel like I need to reach out to people, but I don’t know who, or how.

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