I got the call this morning that my retrieval would not be today, and I freaked out a little bit in my mind. Luckily, the nurse informed me that it’s because my embryos were looking good! Here’s what we’re dealing with at the moment:

3 8-celled, graded as 1
1 7-celled, grade 1
1 10-celled, grade 2
1 9-celled, grade 2
1 8-celled, grade 2
1 8-celled, grade 2.5

There may be one more that I missed, but I was STUNNED they looked as good as they did. So, now the plan is to transfer the best 2 on Wednesday.

It’s so bizarre…I keep preparing myself for terrible news, but I am surprised each time. I’m surprised things are going as well as they are, and honestly, it freaks me out a little. I know that sounds crazy, but the better things go, the more nervous I get. I think it’s because it starts to feel like this could actually work, and it scares me to get my hopes up too high. I go from being excited about my good news to worrying about the next phase. I’m already thinking about Wednesday and hoping things look as good on Wednesday as they did today. And after that, there’s whether they’ll implant and stick around. I so, so want them to, but anything can happen.

Overall, I got really good news, and I feel slightly reassured, but I’m still freaking out a little. I’m working on putting the freaking out aside, at least for today.

Oars in…let the river take me.

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